Blue Angel

Blue Angel, A video homage of Tania's life by her friend, Wendy Milette (5 min.):
http://www.myhero.com/myhero/go/filmfestival/viewfilm.asp?film=blueangel&res=high

Goodbye My Lover

Tania Trepanier. Friend, lover, muse.
July 8, 1971 - May 31, 2003

"Goodbye My Lover"

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,

Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.

It may be over but it won't stop there,

I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.

You changed my life and all my goals.

And love is blind and that I knew when,

My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your hand.

Shared your dreams and shared your bed.

I know you well, I know your smell.

I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry,
I've seen you smile.

I've watched you sleeping for a while.

I'd be the father of your child.

I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,

And I love you, I swear that's true.

I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.

In mine when I'm asleep.

And I will bare my soul in time,

When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.

I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

I'm so hollow, baby,
I'm so hollow.

I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

--James Blunt

Good Thoughts, Good Words, Good Deeds

"What we do in life echoes in Eternity."

--Maximus Decimus Meridius

Bhagavad Gita

“In battle, in the forest, at the precipice in the mountains,

On the dark great sea, in the midst of javelins and arrows,

In sleep, in confusion, in the depths of shame,

The good deeds a man has done before defend him.”

--The Bhagavad Gita (Song of the Lord)

The Singularity is Coming

The Singularity is Coming,
You can feel it in the air.
The Wheel of Life is turning,
You can sense it everywhere.

--farhad

One Cold Tear

Sunday evening at the Coquihalla River.

Beside the dark river,

Beside the cold river,

Three friends embrace.

One dark tear,

One cold tear,

On a sad girl's face.

--farhad

The Strangest of Places

The Strangest of Places

I meet you in the strangest of places.
Your burning presence still glows,
In the blood red of my Japanese maple.

Today I moved the row of golden sedge,
and the yellow grasses in their pale blue pots.
As I placed them under the sheltering roof,
I thought of you and your tree spirit.

The rains and winds of autumn,
The Sky's tears and songs of lament.
Today's canvas of shifting colour,
Replaces Nature's yesterday work.

I have not known such love or such grace,
As that day I felt your breath on my face.
At Joanna Beach by the wild Tasman Sea,
Ten thousand miles from you,
It was just you and me.

--farhad

Some Fill With Each Good Rain

Some Fill With Each Good Rain
There are different wells within your heart.
Some fill with each good rain,
Others are far too deep for that.

In one well
You have just a few precious cups of water,
That "love" is literally something of yourself,
It can grow as slow as a diamond
If it is lost.

Your love
Should never be offered to the mouth of a Stranger,
Only to someone
Who has the valor and daring
To cut pieces of their soul off with a knife
Then weave them into a blanket
To protect you.

There are different wells within us.
Some fill with each good rain,
Others are far, far too deep
For that.

--Hafiz-e Shirazi, خواجه شمس‌الدین محمد حافظ شیرازی

My Friend

Friend Winter

My friend Winter stole my garden bright,
Happily hid it beneath a garment white,
Friend Winter then stole my warm summer day,
Stood outside my window and asked me to play.

--farhad

Man with Wings

"Man with Wings" Luis Royo.

Poem 50 ("I lost my way, I forgot ...")

I lost my way, I forgot to call on your name. The raw heart beat against the world, and the tears were for my lost victory. But you are here. You have always been here. The world is all forgetting, and the heart is a rage of directions, but your name unifies the heart, and the world is lifted into its place. Blessed is the one who waits in the traveller's heart for his turning.

--Book of Mercy by Leonard Cohen.

Every Breath

Goddess at Waterfall, Kauai, Hawaii.

Every Breath

Goddess giving and receiving,
You are the keeper of secrets,
The dreamer of dazzling dreams,
Every breath you take,
Is another heartbeat of the universe.

--farhad

Raven Steals Light

Raven Stealing Light. Haida Creation Myth.

Before there was anything, before the great flood had covered the earth and receded, before the animals walked the earth or the trees covered the land or the birds flew between the trees, even before the fish and the whales and seals swam in the sea, an old man llived in a house on the bank of a river with his only child, a daughter. Whether she was as beautiful as hemlock fronds against the spring sky at sunrise or as ugly as a sea slug doesn't really matter very much to this story, which takes place mainly in the dark.
Because at that time the whole world was dark. Inky, pitchy, all-consuming dark, blacker than a thousand stormy winter midnights, blacker than anything anywhere has been since.
The reason for all this blackness has to do with the old man in the house by the river, who had had a box which contained an infinite number of boxes each nestled in a box slightly larger than itself until finally there was a box so small all it could contain was all the light in the universe.

The Raven, who of course existed at that time, because he had always existed and always would, was somewhat less than satisfied with this state of affairs, since it led to an awful lot of blundering around and bumping into things. It slowed him down a good deal in his pursuit of food and other fleshly pleasures, and in his constant effort to interfere and to change things.

Eventually, his bumbling around in the dark took him close to the home of the old man. He first heard a little singsong voice muttering away. When he followed the voice, he soon came to the wall of the house, and there, placing his ear against the planking, he could just make out the words, "I have a box and inside the box is another box and inside it are many more boxes, and in the smallest box of all is all the light in the world, and it is all mine and I'll never give any of it to anyone, not even my daughter, because, who knows, she may be as homely as a sea slug, and neither she nor I would like to know that."

It only took an instant for the Raven to decide to steal the light for himself, but it took a lot longer for him to invent a way to do so.

--Bill Reid and Robert Bringhurst, The Raven Steals the Light, Vancouver: Douglas & McIntyre, 1984.

Poems for a New Year

Returning

Hafiz of Shiraz (Khwaja Shams ud-Din Hafiz-i Shirazi, 1326-1390)

The morning breeze comes back
and from the southern desert

the lapwing returns

The dove's soft song about roses
I hear that again.
The tulip, who understands what the lily says,

went away, but now she's back.
With the sound of a bell,
strength and gentleness.
Hafiz broke his vow and damaged his heart,
but now, for no reason, his Friend forgives that,

and turns, and walks back up to his door.

I am Like a Rose

D. H. Lawrence, 1917.

I am myself at last; now I achieve

My very self, I, with the wonder mellow,

Full of fine warmth, I issue forth in clear

And single me, perfected from my fellow.

Here I am all myself. No rose-bush heaving

Its limpid sap to culmination has brought

Itself more sheer and naked out of the green

In stark-clear roses, than I to myself am brought.